Growing Up...

**To be read along with song below**

The blood dripped down the cathedral spire
An image of childish lust, or imagination
Hurting the senses as they tried to stray
But the sanguinary image lingers on until today

The blood has made it's course down to my feet
Infected every paper cut. Malignant virus
erupt like Vesuvius in my veins, fuse to my thoughts
My innocence, ignorance, blooms out to nought

Grew older loving tenderness and love itself
Falling into it, shattering, crawling slowly to a stand
Wishing I was lying on a church steeple
Screaming and crying - a spectacle for the sad people

But never did I grow much more than that
Still making pictures of burning 'planes and 'scrapers
Told myself how I was therapy like laudanum
Soothing pains, relaxing restless minds for all of them

Escape, escape, I told myself, away from guilt
Run far away towards another land
But circumstances remained against the favour
My childish mind dissect by Brutus' Sabre

And when her wisdom last on me bestowed
Minerva, in her mysterious way would leave
me lying prostrate, vuln'rable before the god of time
Her lone oblation: knowledge I'd be ruined

- By Josh N

Passion

I have a passion for passion

The way your eyes can ignite

Like Christmas lights 

When I ask all the right questions

About your aspirations 

The way that passion can drive

You to the horizon

Of the land that 

Only you could imagine

At first

It's a thirst

It's a lust for life 

That you light up 

To keep yourself going 

It's enough 

To know that you got enough

To fuel your soul till you die

Makes me want to hold on even more

To the one who can walk alone 

I'd want to be the passion

But I only watch you 

Your Love

It was just like the evening sun

The ruby glimmer right above the sea

Reflecting in my eyes to blind

And ignite fire inside me 

It left me on the coast in tears 

I burned until my lungs were ashes 

The fire planted inside me 

Died bitterly as the time passes

I felt the ashes turn to stone 

The sun is set, the gleam is gone

The night, like water, lingers

The sense of your soft fingers

With dawn as my eyes shut their doors

I slumber dreamlessly at last

It's when the sun comes up and once again

I am reminded of our past 

After

I'd never thought that love can find its way
Within the line between my sober and drunk state
The realness of you came like a storm

You asked me why I always look so sad

After so many times of being thrown to shame
From your lips I will soberly restrain
I hope I made you feel embarrassed

Give me your taste of realness again

This Is Life

It Doesn't Matter If You Don’t (Life)

Our Broken Rhythm

I made a compromise when I first said “hello” to you

It took a while for me to process what that was

You made a compromise when you found my name, too

It took us ages to realise we were broken

I made a compromise by allowing you to be my friend

It was a hard thing for me - letting you in

You made a compromise giving me your heart to lend

It was a struggle for us every moment

We didn't listen to each other for a while

It was a stupid thing for me to do

We had a hard time coming back together

I guess there wasn't any rhythm

But I'm trying my best to show you I care

If you'll open up I’ll show you that it’s worth it

You are beautiful now so please don't disappear

My hands are always longing for your touch

I Wish, I Wish, I Wish...

I didn’t want you to dazzle me, honestly!

I mean, it’s not like I was out looking for heartbreak

I didn’t want you to smile too big or tell me you cared

It’s perfectly reasonable for me to want detachment

There’s not much to say about my artistic mind

or about how I get feelings so easily

It’s a pity, for sure, I’ll admit that

And it’s not like you helped at all by loving me when I wanted to die

So when I look at your bright eyes;

your white teeth;

your perfect skin;

your long hair:

dark, flowing, silky;

you, gorgeous in every way

I don’t want to be asking myself things like

“What did I do wrong?”

“How did I mess up?”

“Where did you go?”

In fact I’d rather I’d never felt nothing or anything however you put it

I’d rather I’d never met you or at least rather was blind

and on top of that I wish I was stupid

So I could never realise your brilliant worth

And could never love as a route to more hurt

She's Trapped

She's trapped
In a loveless state, not even trying to get away
She's trapped
In a house with no love, or at least none that she knows of

She's sad
Says her prayers every night but always looks back
She's sad
Asked for help but kept on being so bad

She's trapped
She smiles at faces that don't matter
We're trapped
We're locked up away from each other

***

What's love?
When you'd rather be on a beach in the isles?
Teasing stars and drinking wine?
Holding hands and feeling fine?

What's love?
When you'd rather be smoking dope, sniffing coke?
Running away as you try your best to cope?

***

She's trapped
Reaching for fingers miles away
Smiling at people, pretending it's ok

She wants to slit her wrists and numb her eyes
rip her ears and bleed out dry
and she wants to stop fucking crying herself to sleep every night

- By Josh N

Who's To Blame?

She's hitting me with pillows
But why am I bleeding?
She opened up the windows
So why am I choking?

Fuck
I guess
it must be me

 - By Josh N




...Just because you're in love doesn't mean the relationship is healthy...

Comedy Of Errors

Here's our comedy of errors
She took a knife and split my fingers

Hapless fools we wet the sheets
make our love and rub our feet

Looking down upon the Earth
poised to jump but not with her

Kiss her body and her eyes
She tastes like honey mixed with lies

Heaven is a place down here
If I kill her she'll disappear

- By Josh N

[Love Sick by Lissie Kun]

You and I

You and I
Falling through an angel's eye
Deeper, deeper, through the sky
The light reflects our true desires
Streams of passion till we die

You and I, perverse in fear
Close our eyes and say we're near
Further, always, to escape
Pulling hard, away from hate

You and I, the drowning two
Neither of us know what to do
A moan, a cry, from miles away
The stars declare our love, they say

You and I
Broken in our faithful death
Faster, faster, slips our grip
Looking back, I hear your breath
You tell me love's an ancient step

Away, away...
















Goodbye

Our Love Is A Dream

She took my hand

Have you ever seen a grown man smile

like that?

It started to slip

It fell into space and I asked if she could

keep looking at

the sunset

Whilst I layed out our picnic

The warm summer night

reminded me of bright stars and glowing clouds

from where I came

But everyone kept telling me 

that thoughts weren't safe

and words weren't sane

When I got back

I saw her sitting, head down, hugging tight

her own self. Tears running down her face

from her glowing eyes - 

they made me think of home, as well

I asked her, "What is it, love?"

She fell back through space

onto soft grass

Warm bread - its smell - wafted over

as she stared up, sadly smiling

She took my hand once more

I gulped, it's not my turn to cry

"I miss the world I wished for,"

she said.

"I lived there in my head."

I kissed her face

Lying down, grass scratching my neck,

love pouring down from scarlet clouds

She speaks again

about how beauty stopped

as soon as beauty was a thing that she desired

She means 

that she forgot to dream

Anyway, stealing chances

A tear falls out my own eye

I grip her hand

too tight, 

she, too, grips back

I love her

more than worlds beyond or books or songs

I tell her wishes still belong

And that our future's here

Hold on

- By Josh N